You know what The Office has taught me (from yesterday's episode)? Enjoy the little things. Enjoy the people that come into your life. Even if those people may seem like awful people, there is always something good about them and about these small moments you expierence every day that can make your life worth living.
Michael Scott left Dunder Mifflin last night; tears, laughs, and sexual immuendos following him as a final salute to a character that I have come to love and connect with more than any other I can think of. When we first met Michael Scott he was an awkward, insulting, and even racist person that immediately rubbed us the wrong way. He was just... awful! There's no other word for it! But even as you saw him screw up in every way imagineable you loved him. You could see through his escapades and tell that he really did care for everyone in the office on a very personal level. And he grew throughout the seasons to become an amazing person. Which was awesome.
But I think we can see that in everyone that we meet. There's always something... amazing about people. And places. And random happenstances that we don't even enjoy in the beginning. So I've just been trying to appreciate people more. And appreciate life more. Because you'll never know when someone you care about will leave. I don't know, kind of a stretch, but that's ok :) Thank you, I love you all
-Michael Howell
4.29.2011
4.24.2011
I don't want to grow up. I remember when life was weightless, when you had one girl in your life, no exes, great friends, and a stage under your feet. It truly made me feel on the top of the world. Grades didn't matter, money, girls, nothing could really bring you down. But now, as my favorite movie, "It's Kind of a Funny Story" says (I'm paraphrasing):
"Girls, money, Politics, 9/11, they all hit at the same time"
Everything hit me at the same time, and I just couldn't handle it. And still sometimes I feel like I can't deal with what people throw at me. Maybe I care too much. Maybe I need to care about myself more. I don't know. I feel like a wallflower so much right now.
Thank you, I love you all
-Michael Howell
"Girls, money, Politics, 9/11, they all hit at the same time"
Everything hit me at the same time, and I just couldn't handle it. And still sometimes I feel like I can't deal with what people throw at me. Maybe I care too much. Maybe I need to care about myself more. I don't know. I feel like a wallflower so much right now.
Thank you, I love you all
-Michael Howell
4.20.2011
Lately, I've been listening to mid-tempo music through a window.
I love the rain. It's ususally my favorite kind of weather. But lately, I don't know... I'm feeling incredibly... Lonely?
I don't know if that's the right word, because I'm making new friends and connecting even stronger with old ones... My parents are actually happy around me, which is kind of a new thing... I don't know.
I have a friend, Sammy Smith (whose blog is at http://sammysweetheart.blogspot.com/). One of her posts was simply this:
i just want to be special to you
and I want to know it. I want to feel it too.
Which I thought was beautiful. Thank you Sammy. But I really think it what's been wrong with me over the last couple days. I just feel like sometimes I don't matter. That life will be the same for everone on the planet if I wasn't there. Stephen Christian, the singer for Anberlin said it best in his book, The Orphaned Anythings, when he said "I don't care that I'm going to die someday, it's the fact that no one's going to care that scares me." I think everyone on the planet wants to leave some kind of mark here, to be able to say "Look what I did, I made this little corner of the earth better." And when we don't feel like we're doing that, and we feel we've tried everything in our power to do that, we lose the will to live. And I think that's what happened to me. Not to say that I'm suicidal now, and I'm not searching for a sob story, it's just...
Maybe we forget how much people mean to us. And maybe we forget to tell them.
Thank you, I love you all.
-Michael Howell
I love the rain. It's ususally my favorite kind of weather. But lately, I don't know... I'm feeling incredibly... Lonely?
I don't know if that's the right word, because I'm making new friends and connecting even stronger with old ones... My parents are actually happy around me, which is kind of a new thing... I don't know.
I have a friend, Sammy Smith (whose blog is at http://sammysweetheart.blogspot.com/). One of her posts was simply this:
i just want to be special to you
and I want to know it. I want to feel it too.
Which I thought was beautiful. Thank you Sammy. But I really think it what's been wrong with me over the last couple days. I just feel like sometimes I don't matter. That life will be the same for everone on the planet if I wasn't there. Stephen Christian, the singer for Anberlin said it best in his book, The Orphaned Anythings, when he said "I don't care that I'm going to die someday, it's the fact that no one's going to care that scares me." I think everyone on the planet wants to leave some kind of mark here, to be able to say "Look what I did, I made this little corner of the earth better." And when we don't feel like we're doing that, and we feel we've tried everything in our power to do that, we lose the will to live. And I think that's what happened to me. Not to say that I'm suicidal now, and I'm not searching for a sob story, it's just...
Maybe we forget how much people mean to us. And maybe we forget to tell them.
Thank you, I love you all.
-Michael Howell
4.18.2011
Symbiosis
I was just thinking at work today about this news story I heard on the Colbert Report a long while ago...
It was about this parasitic fish living of the New Jersey coast that EATS THE TONGUES OF A FISH AND PROCEEDS TO LIVE INSIDE THE FISH'S MOUTH... Taking its share of all the food the fish eats. Its scientific name is Cymothoa exigua, but I just call it: "HOLY SH*T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Truly, one of the most disgusting and horrifying things I've ever heard. I will never EVER swim in the Atlantic Ocean again!
Ugh.......
Anyways, after some research, I've also found some amazing examples of Symbiosis, where two animals benefit from the actions of each other. The most incredible to me is the Toothpick Bird, shown here:
This small bird actually goes inside the mouth of the crocodile it's "buddying up to" and eats the morsels of food between the crocodile's teeth! So both animals benefit from this odd relationship.
Anyways, the reason I'm bringing this up is I believe these two different relationships in nature is a perfect reflection on how our thoughts and our expierences can help or hurt us. Too often have I found myself questioning the past, thinking "Why did I do that?" or "Wow, I can't believe how stupid I was back then!" I get into these phases alot, and I always feel miserable and it always brings me to this low, dark place. It eats at me until it lives inside me.
But that's not the only thing that our memories and expierences can do for us. I believe we can learn from our mistakes and learn to live with them and actually better us! Like remembering the first time we burned ourselves, we now know we shouldn't put our hand on a hot stove. We can always keep these things in the back of our minds and let them cleanse us and help us become better people.
Thank you, I love you all.
-Michael Howell
It was about this parasitic fish living of the New Jersey coast that EATS THE TONGUES OF A FISH AND PROCEEDS TO LIVE INSIDE THE FISH'S MOUTH... Taking its share of all the food the fish eats. Its scientific name is Cymothoa exigua, but I just call it: "HOLY SH*T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Truly, one of the most disgusting and horrifying things I've ever heard. I will never EVER swim in the Atlantic Ocean again!
Ugh.......
Anyways, after some research, I've also found some amazing examples of Symbiosis, where two animals benefit from the actions of each other. The most incredible to me is the Toothpick Bird, shown here:
This small bird actually goes inside the mouth of the crocodile it's "buddying up to" and eats the morsels of food between the crocodile's teeth! So both animals benefit from this odd relationship.
Anyways, the reason I'm bringing this up is I believe these two different relationships in nature is a perfect reflection on how our thoughts and our expierences can help or hurt us. Too often have I found myself questioning the past, thinking "Why did I do that?" or "Wow, I can't believe how stupid I was back then!" I get into these phases alot, and I always feel miserable and it always brings me to this low, dark place. It eats at me until it lives inside me.
But that's not the only thing that our memories and expierences can do for us. I believe we can learn from our mistakes and learn to live with them and actually better us! Like remembering the first time we burned ourselves, we now know we shouldn't put our hand on a hot stove. We can always keep these things in the back of our minds and let them cleanse us and help us become better people.
Thank you, I love you all.
-Michael Howell
4.17.2011
The Life of a 8 year old Michael...
I've been having a weirld nostalgic day today. Not in my usual way, where I think back to High School, or my 'glory days' so to speak, but even further back, to my real glory days, where innocence and a surprising depth filled me. As I look back on it I realize that I never thought of myself as a "kid" back then, I never thought any thought of mine was childish or irrelevant (maybe that's why I like the book Ender's Game so much). Anyways, I've just been exploring those thoughts today and I thought I'd share with you some of my crazy random thoughts as a little kid!
1. I used to get MASSIVE ear infections as a kid, and I thought it was from water getting in my ears and sitting in there, causing an infection, so naturally I would cover my ears the entire time I was in the shower. It never worked.
2. I used to have a sandbox in my backyard, and I thought I could dig to china if I dug in just the right place. The strange thing is I always just found the bottom of the sandbox.
3. I always thought America was on the top of the world and China was on the bottom, therefore, Americans were standing on the top of the world and Chinese people were hanging off the bottom by their feet.
4. I never, ever thought about where babies come from. I guess I just assumed they came in the mail until fifth grade.
5. I thought the term "girlfriend" meant the term "crush," so I didn't even talk to my elementary school crush at all because I was afraid she'd turn into my friend instead of my girlfriend.
6. It made me sad the sun and moon hated each other so much they never hung out.
7. I thought armies fought with sword instead of guns until I played the first Medal of Honor game. In like... 7th grade... why am I telling you this?
8. You know how moth's eat clothes? Leaving giant holes in them? Well I got attacked by a moth when I was in like second grade, it just flew at my face and wouldn't stop, so I kept watching my eyelids for like a week after cause I was afraid the moth would leave holes in them.
9. (Warning: Racist) I thought that people with brown skin didn't live in the United States, that they flew to and from my school ever day to wherever they lived.
10. There were only about 12 basketball players: Michael Jordan and the enitre Utah Jazz team.
11. Karl Malone was called "The Mailman" because that was his day job
And the list goes on and on...
Thank you all, I love you! -Michael Howell
1. I used to get MASSIVE ear infections as a kid, and I thought it was from water getting in my ears and sitting in there, causing an infection, so naturally I would cover my ears the entire time I was in the shower. It never worked.
2. I used to have a sandbox in my backyard, and I thought I could dig to china if I dug in just the right place. The strange thing is I always just found the bottom of the sandbox.
3. I always thought America was on the top of the world and China was on the bottom, therefore, Americans were standing on the top of the world and Chinese people were hanging off the bottom by their feet.
4. I never, ever thought about where babies come from. I guess I just assumed they came in the mail until fifth grade.
5. I thought the term "girlfriend" meant the term "crush," so I didn't even talk to my elementary school crush at all because I was afraid she'd turn into my friend instead of my girlfriend.
6. It made me sad the sun and moon hated each other so much they never hung out.
7. I thought armies fought with sword instead of guns until I played the first Medal of Honor game. In like... 7th grade... why am I telling you this?
8. You know how moth's eat clothes? Leaving giant holes in them? Well I got attacked by a moth when I was in like second grade, it just flew at my face and wouldn't stop, so I kept watching my eyelids for like a week after cause I was afraid the moth would leave holes in them.
9. (Warning: Racist) I thought that people with brown skin didn't live in the United States, that they flew to and from my school ever day to wherever they lived.
10. There were only about 12 basketball players: Michael Jordan and the enitre Utah Jazz team.
11. Karl Malone was called "The Mailman" because that was his day job
And the list goes on and on...
Thank you all, I love you! -Michael Howell
4.14.2011
I would just like to take this time to apologize to my readers... I've been having a busy and crazy couple weeks emotionally and rather than posting my ususal blogs, I've been posting random depressing nonsenses. I apologize. In a return to form, I'd like to write about something that really means alot to me... Originality and passion (and the loss of it) in mainstream media. From news stories to movies to music, you see the same thing over and over again. You hear the same beat with the same four chords with the same trashy girl and creepy ghetto voice over and over again, and it just makes me sad to think our age will be remembered for Ke$ha and movies like Shrek, The (Fourth and) Final Chapter. It's not to say that no one has original ideas! Bands like Mumford and Sons and movies like Inception are rare gemstones in a sea of sand and mud that is entertainment. I just wonder... what happened? Why is it not relevant anymore? Did America really just say, eh, autotune sounds fine, whatever. But guess what? IT DOESN'T SOUND FINE! It sounds emotionless and boring! Bleh! Sorry for the rant, I'm tired and I can't think straight right now. I love you all. -Michael Howell
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