lifeboats.

i'm so exhausted right now.

mentally and physically. for some reason, i've been having problems dealing with... life lately. like everything in life is a do-or-die situation, and instead of tackling my problems and wrestling them to the ground, i've just shied away from everything.

maybe i'm scared. i think that's what happened in wyoming a couple years ago. there was too much going on that i just didn't try. at all.

and that scares me, cause i was in a really bad place back then.

but this time it's different. in wyoming i was literally cut off from everyone. my girlfriend left me, my friends going to school with me wouldn't talk to me, and i just didn't really feel like i had anything to live for.

now, however, i have people in my life. friends, family, even ex girlfriends that all buoy me up on their shoulders and let me smile and relax and remind me that life is good.

because of the people in it.

and i guess what i'm trying to say with all this is, yeah, i'm not in the best of places right now. i can feel life's waves tossing and turning over me, sometimes i can hardly breathe.

but i know i have people in lifeboats looking for me. willing to pull me up and wrap me in a blanket and tell me everything's ok.

and that's what makes life worth living right now.

thank you, i love you all.

-michael howell.