i love people too much! and every single time i've been fucked over. i usually refrain from using profanities, but i'm so... mad, and frustrated, and sad and depressed right now to give a damn. i hate loving people so much, i can't stand getting hurt, and yet it seems like i don't know how to make a single thing work in my life. i've failed at EVERYTHING i've ever tried, i suck at this thing called life. i need to get away, i need to... join the military, or find a fucking commune and forget about who i was or why i've done all this dumb shit in my life! i don't think the people i love realize that every single "mistake" i've made to them or because of them was because i loved them so much i couldn't stand to hurt them. and i guess that doesn't cover the fact that what i've done was wrong. i don't ever wanna fall in love again, because the only thing that comes of it is two heartbroken souls. and memories i wish i never made, because they're what's eating me alive. fuck love. i'm sick of regretting.

if anyone's still reading this sad, depressing, fucked up blog, thank you. i love you.

-michael howell.