have you ever felt like nothing you do matters?

like you fight for what you believe in, you push and push, and kick and scream and write and everything else, but nothing's ever solved. there's no constant catharsis. you may affect change for a little bit or for something small, but ultimately nothing you ever do will solve anything?

i was feeling that today.

so i thought about the politicans out there, the leaders of the world, making laws, either good or bad, but (at least i think) they are trying to make the world a better place. and every piece of legislation, every ammendment, every debate, every letter sent between politicans are slowly but surely making a better tomorrow.

then i thought of the artists, the actors, the musicians, the poets, the photographers, the street artists, heck, even the street performers, who every day try and send messages to people. to try and show the world that there are things worth fighting for in the world and we need to be open to those and realize we CAN make a difference.

then there's entertainers, who do pretty much the same thing as artists, but i feel they like to focus on the last thing i mentioned, showing people that the world is a good place, and its worth fighting for. they like to make people laugh or be excited or give them enough confidence to try to do something amazing with their life.

then there's the most important part of all, the parents. they fight every single day for the world, in the form of helping their kids reach their full potential. showing them that success is possible and even within their grasp. they also fight through politics or neighborhood watches or school boards to make sure that their kids are coming into the best possible world they can.

so no matter who you are, a CEO, politician, aspiring musician or a stay at home mom, whatever you're doing is working. with so many people doing so many small things for the world we really can affect change for the better.

thank you, i love you all.

-michael howell.

My Illuminating Week

Oh, what a crazy, hectic, exhausting week! Between recording with my band, working two jobs till at least five every night, and usually later than that, staying up till at least 3 every night this weekend, and trying to balance homework, college searching, and DOWN TIME... Needless to say, I'm a little tired. :) But I feel good! I feel like I'm finally doing something with my life, not just standing still. It's a great feeling to see $250 a week come in, my band pulling together to try and crank this album out, and writing more songs and stories than ever before. I've noticed something though: I live to be creative. My goals in life aren't to have a six figure income and live in a mansion. Heck, right now having a family isn't really a priority for me (Although I'm sure it will in the future :D ). All I want to do is write, sing, and play music that people can relate to and understand. I feel like that's almost what I was born to do! Write music and play for people who care. Because I know exactly how much music affects people. Without really going into details, I just want to say that music literally saves lives. I don't think I'd be here, the way I am, if it wasn't for the incredible power music has. That's why I love it. I feel like music is a universal savior. It speaks to everyone, and it can change people's lives. Anyways, that's all I have to say for now on this subject ;) Thank you, I love you all.